Our three communication tips to try with your partner is a good starting point for having this kind of conversation. These tips will help you think about ways to talk without things turning into an argument, and to express yourself in a way that your partner is likely to engage with, rather than become defensive. The benefits of talking things over are twofold: If punctuality or getting prompt replies to your texts is important to you, you may be able to help your partner appreciate this better. If you feel like your partner is unlikely to respond well to a broad discussion of their behaviours, it can be an idea to focus on individual instances.
Of course, in some cases, they may be unwilling to talk no matter how carefully you try to express yourself.
One question we often ask in counselling is: If you need further support, you can speak to a counsellor online via our Live Chat service. Likewise, you can also come in for Relationship Counselling together or just by yourself.
You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Arguing and conflict Dealing with an unreliable partner. Dealing with an unreliable partner.
When it comes to relationships, unreliability can take a variety of forms. Why is unreliability so frustrating? Why are people unreliable in relationships? A lack of reliability in a person can be triggered by a variety of reasons. How do you deal with an unreliable partner? Chronically unreliable people can be carefree and fun to be with at first but this type of attitude can cause a relationship to suffer greatly in the medium to long term. After dating for a while and the unreliable behaviour continues, your trust will probably begin to deteriorate as promises continue to be broken.
When you have experienced many repeated broken promises and stressful situations caused by your partners unreliability the cracks in the relationship will begin to appear.
You probably feel upset, angry or sad a great deal of the time and cannot understand why your partner is so inconsiderate and disrespectful while wondering if he actually has any genuine feelings for you. Your mental state is likely to be troubled and your emotional energy is constantly drained burdened by his unreliable behaviour. You probably speculate endlessly and have asked more than once why he behaves this way.
He may be taking you for granted or just completely oblivious regarding how his behaviour is impacting negatively on the relationship. How long has the relationship been established and what has been happening?
He will have follow-through. You probably speculate endlessly and have asked more than once why he behaves this way. Seek professional support or therapy if necessary as it is highly unlikely you will not ready for a healthy relationship until those harmful patterns of relating have been healed. Because when I looked for your e-mail address to let you know that I'd be running your letter, I noticed that you had e-mailed me twice before about the same issues -- once in December and again in January. He blames his exes for his failed relationships. You are your readers are the absolute best!!!
Are there any other concerns besides chronic unreliability? If your partner is unreliable how much does it bother you? Is it impacting negatively on your feelings and the relationship? If you are unhappy have a conversation with your partner; speak calmly and clearly.
Explain how you feel and why his unreliability has hurt your feelings or caused chaos. Ultimately, you are responsible for your behaviour, not your partners and you have a right to choose what is best for you. You are also responsible for the type of behaviour you accept or allow to continue. Seek professional support or therapy if necessary as it is highly unlikely you will not ready for a healthy relationship until those harmful patterns of relating have been healed.
Liza Keefer May 12, - Reply. Aymee January 1, - Reply.
Thank you so much for writing this. I finally understand why my marriage failed after so much struggle with an immature, deceptive, and unreliable husband.
I see now that I keep repeating the same mistake of trusting the wrong men and expecting them to change and become mature and responsible partners for me. I have come to realize that I can change only myself. I am determined to break free from this unhealthy pattern once and for all.