February 11, by Jennifer Dutcher. Amy Webb used data science to find love. After a difficult breakup of a relationship when she was 30, and feeling the pressure of her heavily involved family, this data geek started crunching numbers to try to calculate her odds of finding a man in Philadelphia who would be a match for her needs and personality.
Out of the 1. A data fanatic, Webb decided to try online dating, since the matches are based on algorithms — a methodical system that appealed to her. After a number of bad experiences, she decided to start tracking data points during her lousy dates, which helped her discover that the limitation of the dating algorithms were defined by the user-generated data that was inputted into online profiles.
I just had to convince them that she was the latter. My new goal was to get these men to stop messaging her back. I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that not even the kinds of dudes who comment on YouPorn videos would respond to her. Want to guess how well that worked? I'll give you a hint: I'm confiscating everyone's penis until further notice. In trying to convince these men that they're better than this, my first strategy was to just say horrible shit. These messages are natural extensions of her profile, confirmation that you do not, I repeat, do not want to know this woman.
The unlimited number of creeps doesn't help much, either. A lot of it, however, is how unbelievably ineffective online dating websites are. 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever I've been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five.
OK, I get it. These men don't care about her personality; there is no lower limit to how deeply repulsive she can be on the inside, as long as she's hot. It's a bitter pill to swallow, sure, but I guess that's how it is. But what if meeting her would have clear, lasting consequences? What if there was no such thing as a one-night stand with her?
What if the effects of coming into contact with this woman were devastating and permanent? I'll level with you, readers: This wasn't so much a tactic as it was a result of the mental and emotional toll this social experiment was taking on me. After reading messages from men who apparently had just slapped their semi-erect penis on their keyboard a few times and pressed "send," my already flimsy grasp on reality was loosening.
Preparing response strategies and putting words into a coherent order wasn't an option for me anymore, so I decided to turn that into its own strategy.
I'd tried mean-crazy, I'd tried life-destroying-crazy; I might as well try crazy-crazy. There are any number of cynical conclusions I could draw from the results of this experiment. For example, I could extrapolate from my data that men have been so deeply socialized to value women solely on their appearance that many of them seem unable to take any other aspect of who she is, such as intelligence or capacity for self-reflection or suffocating douchiness, into account.
Or I could follow my first instinct as these messages began to roll in, which was to invest in a high-quality chastity belt and start collecting cats. But rather than follow these results into the darkness, I'll stay optimistic and instead offer an impassioned plea. Men of the world: You are better than this. I know many of you would never message AaronCarterFan, but many of you would, and a whole bunch of you did. I am in my 60's and opportunities to meet people in my age group are limited.
No, I have not yet tried online dating again. There's a problem loading this menu right now. Online Data Science Degree Blog. Rather than spending the first date asking these basic questions and chatting about shit neither of you actually care about because the focus of a first date is all about body language and visible signals , you're stuck in a bit of a paradox. I think men having money is the equivalent of women showing good cleavage.
After reading Amy's book, I realized many of the errors I had made. She may be younger, but the game is the same,no matter the age! Anyway, her book is easy reading. Her observations and experiences are delightful and true! Her research and conclusions are very on point and it is well worth following her conclusions and recommendations. No, I have not yet tried online dating again. I just finished Amy's book and I need to make a weighted list of what I want in a companion, get my hair properly styled, get some great, happy , approachable pictures of myself and write my new , super profile!!
I recommend this book. You don't have to be a romantic or an online dater or single to enjoy this book.
What piqued my interest was her methodology. She spent weeks creating an elaborate mathematically-based system to help her avoid awful online dates. As someone who would rather put her hand in a fire than spend an hour with some random jack-wagon who won't stop talking about his awkwardly small feet thing that happened , I whole-heartedly endorse what she did.
If you are really looking for love online, this book will give you hope. If you just like reading about online dates that are as bad - if not worse - than the online dates that have driven you to consider monastic life, this is a great read.
I you like spreadsheets, this book is also for you. The author is a smart sensible lady who has studied the online dating game and come up with some useful suggestions that serious online daters can use. Not every suggestion is a revelation, many are commonsensical. But there are nuggets in this book that make it well worth the read. Wrapped around the process is Amy's story about how she used this exercise to find her husband.
Amy writes well, is irreverent, and her story makes for a delightful read. One can only wish that the rest of us do half as well. Amy Webb prose is well-written, flows gracefully and is easy to read. I learned about this book from her Ted Talk, and was impressed that this woman who obviously wasn't going to win any beauty pageants managed to land herself a desirable soulmate within an acceptably short time. I am male, and what inspired me to read the book was that she put up a bunch of fake male profiles on JDate and observed which ones were most successful.
To get to that part, I had to wade through a ton of autobiographical detail was it really necessary to write about every cigarette she smoked? When I finally got to the part about the fake male profiles, it wasn't very useful. She did not vary them randomly, no, they were all variations of her ideal mate.
The only distinguishing factor she gave between popular and less popular male profiles was that the popular ones had hair. This does me little good, as I am seriously bald. Perhaps I should get a transplant. I didn't think much of her advice to women, either. She gives 2 examples of "unpopular" female profile she shows prose only, no pictures and I liked both of them. I would have dated either of those women if the pictures were OK. She doesn't explain how she knew which women were popular and which weren't, she never did fake female profiles. Perhaps JDate lists everybody's popularity if so, why the need for the fake male profiles?
That was never explained. But her advice to women in photographs was: I could have told her that before I opened the book. Her advice to women in their prose as to say almost nothing, come across with an unconditionally sunny disposition. I wouldn't go near the profile of a woman who followed her advice. I think men having money is the equivalent of women showing good cleavage.
I am really well-off, but haven't figured out how to let that slip without sounding tacky or finding myself getting used by gold-diggers.