Dating the mentally disabled I sort of read this a bit differently?

How to date when you’re mentally ill | Dazed

Is anyone else getting that vibe? CatsMeow May 8, , 4: I really like the suggestions above about giving him the sex talk but also helping him to be a gentleman and giving him direction about how to interact with women. I used to work extensively with kids and teenagers with all types of disabilities. CatsMeow May 8, , 5: Not so much with inappropriate touching, but being sexual with each other and not fully understanding the consequences. Micah May 8, , 5: Such a good point about consent. Leroy May 8, , 5: MsMisery May 9, , 1: Budj May 8, , 4: A lot of good comments up above, but I would add that maybe you could look at submitting personal ads for him…and agree to supervised meet ups with other mentally disabled people that are in the in-between zone your brother seems to be in.

Addie Pray May 8, , 6: Whoa, nice new picture. Great, now everyone is gonna try to flirt with my real-life, not-at-all-made-up internet boyfriend that I stole from RR while I was also advocating for an RR-Budj romance. Your picture looks like… mine. I just had a 3. Like, I really want to scowl and be bitter for the rest of the evening. Budj May 9, , The biggest hate I have for interviews is my eyes get really dry from making eye contact for so long with so many people.

BusyReader May 8, , 4: Contact your local psychiatric hospital, or the psychiatry department at a university hospital or other big medical center. Please make sure that you have someone you can talk and vent to as well. Sue Jones May 8, , 6: I know that sterilizing people with disabilities is not PC anymore, but think of the repercussions if he should get another woman with disabilities pregnant…chances are that their child will also be disabled and maybe have a worse disability since you are mixing not 1 but 2 disabilities together in the genetic line, assuming that his disability is transmitted genetically and not something like CP which is not… and who would parent their child or would they put it up for adoption?

I wish that we could ensure that he never has children since his illness really seems to be passed down genetically….

There’s no self-help book or guide out there so here are some suggestions from the frontline

Desiree May 8, , 6: LW, I think it is awesome that you are so supportive of your brother. Everyone has made great points above. Here is my experience: I have a little sister with autism, and she recently started dating a boy who also has high-functioning autism they are both teens still. I am very protective of my sister since she has been bullied so much, but her new romance has been such a positive influence in her life. Your brother certainly does not have to date a woman with a similar disability level, but it could work out really well for him.

This somewhat reminds me of my former BIL. Well, when he got arrested at 19 for sleeping with a 13 year old foster girl in a store parking lot in broad daylight — things got difficult. He finally started getting all the tests that the schools insisted he get as a child court required it. And still babies him. You need to find a support group.

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For your parents if they will go, for your brother, and maybe for yourself. Your brother needs to understand that giving out a landline phone number is extremely dangerous it can be traced back to the home address and you can be burgled! You need some support in general. I know he dates, mostly women also supervised by this organization, and they sound really great at making sure things are safe and smart without making these adults feel badly for acting like…well, adults! Try adult social services — social workers are amazing resources for stuff like this. You obviously care a lot about his well-being from a pragmatic standpoint, and that is unbelievably cool.

Sisters are also great people to learn about women from — you sound like you guys are close enough you could take him out and supervise while he practices talking up women.

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I feel all warm and tingly for associating with this DW community that is supportive of this issue. Everybody, challenged or not, deserves the opportunity to be loved.

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No. As someone that's not disabled, I feel that anything other than platonic activities would constitute an issue with informed consent. I would. He's also mildly mentally challenged. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at.

WS is a wonderful human being to care about her brother and her willingness to help him. BettyBoop May 8, , 7: Start googling away too! In my area we have a whole bunch of events geared towards adults with varying levels of disabilities to get together, have a good time and mingle that leads to lots of relationships.

Sunshine Brite May 9, , LW, I work in a group home so this is coming from a slightly different perspective than someone who would work with people with developmental disabilities in the community or has family dealing with that situation. I also graduate in a couple months from a masters program in social work. I work with people who are much lower functioning than it sounds like your brother is and some of them have girlfriends or boyfriends at different times.

And it works because there are parameters in place to monitor some of what goes on. Teach him the skills if you can, it sounds like there is some distance involved so if a friend or someone else close could help him practice the skills to learn consent, boyfriend behavior, etc. How does he handle other risks? However, if he does end up accidentally contacting a woman to the point where she becomes fearful he could get in legal trouble. As anyone with mental illness will tell you, this is kind of par for the course.

So what can you do about it? But the key is to be honest.

“My Mentally Challenged Brother Wants a Girlfriend”

It is, predictably, also really hard. But he still has anxiety about how it affects his relationship.

It makes me feel impotent. So you need to experiment.

5 Do's and Dont's of Dealing with Other's Mental Illness

It calms me down to a point where I can better deal with spontaneity and can, for the first time in years, actually enjoy it. This might not work for other people, obviously, but it works for me.


And that goes for just about everything. Neither of these things might work for you. But the key is being honest about it and seeing what works for you. The single most important thing in all of this? It can be really, really hard. Not only can it be difficult but it can be awkward for both parties.