She also earns at least double what he makes and resents that he hasn't accomplished more with his life. She often complains that he doesn't do things the right way and gets upset. You may not be in this situation now, but if you choose to relinquish your position as leader of the relationship you could be heading there. She's probably into you because you're NOT like the pseudo-intellectual beta orbiters in her life quoting Updike and taking her to poetry readings and shit.
Remember she needs a leader, and a leader needs to know HOW to do shit. You could also change her car's oil or something. Girls are terrible at calculating odds and understanding casino games and will think you're interesting too. I can't tell you how many times I've been beta orbiter because I've mistaken a girls interests for traits she looks for in a guy to talk with. The way I see this is: The alpha male is protecting and leading the tribe.
If a female is interested in Philosophy is the female expecting to be wooed via discussion of philosophy? No she wants the alpha to lose control near her and fuck her brains out. If she needs to talk philosophy she'll discuss it with her orbiters who'll validate her along the way. Cultured and well educated people often lead great conversations, whereas intelligent people often don't unless they're versed in the matter being discussed. You might be perceiving her as more intelligent for starters but she might be simply confident to talk about a few subjects you're interested in. Narrowing the possibilities to "she outsmarts you", women don't date down.
If they do so, they're looking for a special kind of security, which is a partner that can't hurt them in any way. If he leaves, she won't flicker. These partners are a piece of furniture they bought on a super market and are just as fungible to them. To a settled guy this can be a pretty good life, just as long as the woman doesn't cause or trigger some trauma, because she won't move a finger to prevent doing so. Funny thing I knew two couples like this. A pretty happy couple and one that met a catastrophic ending. Girls are attracted to dominance. If you maintain a dominant frame in the relationship you shouldn't have a problem.
Also, there are multiple intelligences. Am I right in guessing that she falls into the book smart category?
She might be intelligent in that way, but not in other ways that you are. For example my brother is not book smart, but is the best damn mechanic I've ever seen. One of my girls was an actual chess master. Combine that with fashion model looks. She would absolutely destroy me at chess, but was perfectly happy to have me tie her up and ride her to Poundtown.
If she asks you a question about nihilism or similar tell her that you subcontract that shit out to your European film critic friends. This is a good thing- Learn as much as you can from her. If your interested by something she tlaks about look it up, read a book about it etc. Hanging around people who are smarter than you is a great way to up your own intelligence.
YEs, you are bothered by this. IF you weren't you wouldn't make a shit poast here about it. Seeking advice means you're bothered? People like you make TRP lame. Try not to bust a capslock in my ass. It doesn't at all, because up until this point i've actually been killing it, soooooooo, you're dumb. Thanks for the awesome advice though! Uh, enjoy being the big dumb brute of a boyfriend? Nothing wrong with it as long as everyone behaves.
I appreciate this wake up call. I don't think I have problems accepting criticism and I think I deserve it here. My ex was much smarter than me. Top of her computer science class as a woman was no mean feat with one of the highest overall grades in the department's history.
Jumped straight from B. She has a couple of papers published concerning language processing. We got on well and she helped me through a dreary computer science bachelors course, for which I am very grateful. We went our separate ways afterwards for a variety of reasons all non-related to the fact that she was smarter than I was. Though incredibly smart, she had her own failings. If you have a self-esteem problem with your girlfriend being smarter than you, then that is your problem. Put another way, if you were smarter than her, do you think that would be a problem for her? Look to find areas where you can complement your girlfriend.
You'll soon realize you have talents where she doesn't and vice versa. Embrace them and her! My advice in life is not to worry about intelligence when it comes to love. Everyone is capable of learning beyond there current capacity and no knowledge is unobtainable or incomprehensible if you have the motivation to learn. Intelligence only affects the time it takes to comprehend an idea and perhaps even extend that idea into innovation.
People all have their things they are intelligent at. What you need to do is examine the qualities about you that makes her attracted to you. If shes a smart girl and she knows what she personally wants out of a relationship dont let your self esteem ruin that because you assume she is looking for a rocket scientist boyfriend.
Chances are she has dated smart guys and believe it or not. Smart guys tend to be just as egotistical and insecure as anybody else even if they have everything going for them. The thing about smart guys like this, is that they like to feel like they are the smartest thing that walked into the room and that their opinions and theories are the one and only true way of processing information. They would feel threatened by the woman and try to make himself better than her, usually by manipulating her self esteem.
This does happen more often then we would like to admit and women in today's age, especially a smart one just wants to be recognized for the characteristics that define her. You are already showing a quality she probably values in you by identifying the fact that she is intelligent and that is a value worth appreciating in a woman.
Which I must say, speaks alot for your own intelligence and sense of maturity. Just listen to what she says because intelligent people love to share the things they know and be asked questions.
Discussions and perhaps even a little debating. Dont stress the details when it comes to romance. Just love every minute of it and focus on providing for your partners emotional needs and always encourage them to improve themselves in life. Thats what makes a successful long lasting relationship, not this notion of being the "alpha" male that society likes to sell us on. Sure there are woman like that in the world. But they tend to be the kind who ends up valuing the opinions on the Jersey Shore as apposed to the opinions held by leading research scientists in the world.
AntoPaz on Sept 10, I had a really exceptional girlfriend extremely smart, successful and beautiful - and married her. In general you should see it as a success. Most people only date the next-best-fit, you found someone you admire. CyberFonic on Sept 11, Your comment suggests, and I concur, that you could find out what she finds attractive about you and then making sure that you don't drop the ball on that and related areas.
You need to remember that beauty handsomeness is in the eyes of the beholder. Sustaining some shared interests is also very important. That's a cute idea actually. I just hope she won't comment about my looks. I really hope there's something else there: How are you even measuring "smarts? Also, your self-esteem takes a knock every time you meet someone you deem "smarter? So I guess what I am saying is: This is an entirely a personal problem. You have created this problem in your head and that is the only place it can be solved.
If meeting smarter people, including dating them, really impacts you this badly then you seriously need to work on that maybe grab a self-help book or go talk to a professional. I think this problem is far bigger than this one instance or dating I don't have a problem working with people who are smarter than me. I work with them quite often actually. The problem is when it comes to an intimate relationship.
I actually do not think we are on the same level.
I think that my level is quite alright, but she very much tops it. I believe I read an article in a newspaper once where they tracked married couples with differing IQs over time. Where the male was the smarter partner, the woman's IQ increased. Where the female was the smarter partner, the woman's IQ decreased.
I recently met a girl who is waaayyyyy more intelligent than me. Be worthy of respect. UnoriginalGuy on Sept 10, How are you even measuring "smarts? Be honest with yourself and don't compromise your frame for the sake of pussy, no matter how nova-hot it might be. Let her do this with some other guy, then once she vomited all that out and doesnt see him as sexually viable, she'll come back to you for another romp.
I guess the consolation from this is it may become a less acute problem over time: Do you a link to the article perhaps? I've tried, but my google-fu is weak today. It was from a good few years back i.
You would certainly prefer to be the smartest. Do you feel threatened? It feels threatening knowing that your partner is always right, and thereby when you argue makes you always mostly wrong. It also feels threatening knowing that she's capable of doing whatever it is you're doing just better. Are you intimidated by her? Are you sure she's smarter? DrorY on Sept 11, If she doesn't care, why should you? Learn from her and be exceptional as well.
She wouldn't date you if she had not found something special in you. Do you feel that it is a problem? Would it be a problem if you had a platonic friend of either gender who was much smarter than you? I don't feel it's a problem now, as I feel enough self value in what I am doing. I fear it might evolve into a problem if at some point along the road I won't feel that satisfaction in whatever it is I am doing.
Continue to grow, learn and progress. And then sometimes I wonder how anyone could be that stupid.. You can name almost any topic and I will know more about it than she will. We like travel, performing arts, food tourism, bike rides She enjoys those, too, but it feels more like a teacher-student relationship than a romantic one.
I love her but it can be frustrating. References to Forrest Gump, Top Gun, etc went completely over her head. Even references to shows like Archer, that she watched all of, she just completely misses cause she does homework and texts while watching. It makes arguing things sort of difficult.