Dating my dads friend

How to Date Your Friend’s Dad Iowa couple who starved their adopted daughter, 16, to Plot to take control of Brexit revealed: IVF couple have triplets - two of whom were conceived Comments Share what you think. Bing Site Web Enter search term: Cheryl's 'shocked' face leaves viewers in hysterics Victoria Beckham won't be piling on the pounds as she boasts of two-hour daily workout Gets up at 5.

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Clinical psychologist reveals the five different ways of saying NO to everything Eventually you'll do something or more precisely both of you will which is one of the poor choices I mentioned. I'm not saying you can't be friends. I'm saying it's a bad idea to pursue such a friendship when your head, heart and hormones are looking for more. So my strong advice to you is to walk away from your desire.

It's a good lesson to learn for your life: That doesn't make you less passionate. But it would make you stronger and less open to damaging life choices. Remember finally that when you get involved with a married man, you're really involving yourself in his wife's relationship as well. And perhaps his children's, if he has any. With respect, what you are having trouble with is controlling your desires. With more maturity you will gain that. And if you were as mature a thinker as you may feel you are, you would not need advice.

But Vic's flirtations taking your view of them on face value indicate someone with dubious moral priorities.

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That way, you also allow your dad to keep his friend for a while longer. should not be dating or in a relationship with someone whose age is. Would it be weird to date my dad's friend? Since I was young, dating has always been an extremely touchy subject, causing me to sneak around and deal with.

I addressed this in my first response and I'd remind you to consider those views again. Pursuing a relationship with a free agent is one thing: Vic is not a free agent. In both question and answer I see a fundamental myth perpetuated that is spread through a host of romantic books and motion pictures: In a similar vein, sexual attraction is a rather basic feeling that only has the meaning we ascribe to it. Acting upon it without considering the consequences reduces man to animal. You look at the price tag, check whether it's worth the expense, and if not, move on.

You don't have the necessary experience for comparing the price tags. He is not after your intellect since you have not yet had a whole lot of time and experience to develop it. However, there is quite less for him at risk than for you: That, however, is a lot more replaceable than your ties with your family. Apart from your fawning over his "mysterious" aura which is straight out of Jane Austen novels and Twilight movies , your main attraction to him seems to be his apparent interest in your features.

Which Western clothing is designed to accentuate, so for better or worse, his perceiving you as female and attractive is not as such unusual but rather "working" as intended. Acting on such a perception is a completely different thing. There are cultures where this is not understood well and females have to cover themselves completely up in clothes not allowing them to be perceived as such. That's overall a worse option in my book. But in your case, you ascribe more meaning to the effects of our more interesting approach than is good for you.

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You don't have the kind of life experience to feel certain about such decisions, but I would strongly suggest that you forget about Jane Austen and Twilight approaches to your current situation and try gradually defusing it mainly for your own sake. This may sound sort of stupid, but you might want to dress more conservatively when you know he's around and thus avoid feeding your mutual attention.

And if you want to entertain notions of being destined for each other and everlasting love, there's no harm in waiting out five years or so before acting. If his personal situation hasn't changed by then, it can't be that inconvenient for him. And more likely than not, you'll have a different outlook on life and love by then. You can't full fill both desires. You will have to sacrifice one in order to get the other. We have to do this all the time in life.

Sacrifice one of our desires or goals for a more important desire or goal. So choose which Desire is more important to you and follow it. Knowing full well you have rejected the other. Encouraging him in any way will most likely lead to his betraying his family. Which means you will have contributed to his wife and children's suffering.

This includes talking to him and smiling at him, he will see these actions as encouragment. It seems likely from your question that a relationship with this man would cause disruption in your own family as well. So that's extra pain and suffering in your life that you could avoid.

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If he will betray his Wife who he is expressly committed to then he'll most likely betray you too. Go dancing, join some clubs, or start dating online. Go out in the world and meet other men. You can find someone else who you are attracted to, to start a relationship with. There are a lot of upstanding, attractive, single men out there for you. If you go look for them you'll find them. And you can be a good person while doing it. I am assuming you are a 21 year-old woman and this is a real-life situation rather than a creatively 'representative' question for all young women attracted to older men.

So all these wonderful answers have given you a full and in-depth overview of all possible outcomes to this situation.

Is It Wort Dating Ur Fathers Friend - Romance - Nairaland

Most of these kind members have advised you to take no action at present, but I would beg to differ and tell you to do what you really want to do. Because you are a woman and in these modern times there are no real social restrictions on what is appropriate for a woman to do in such situations, especially in your country of residence if not your country of origin.

Others may disapprove of your decisions but you can make your own choices, just like any man. You can be who you want , you can do what you want: Just be prepared to take full responsibility for the consequences. I don't want to be some sort of home-wrecker etc etc etc. Well, the direct approach through verbal or non-verbal communication probably works best in such situations, though Ivan Skalauh's answer has also suggested an 'indirect approach' which is 'safer' for this man and also reduces your risk of rejection -- but beware: If any answer here suits your requirements best, please accept it to signal your choice to the Interpersonal Skills community.

Assuming for the sake of argument that he does get divorced and you're free to pursue something more with him. Have you really thought that through? I'm guessing that since you said that he has a family and that he's 44, that his children are closer to your age. Are you prepared to be a step mother to someone who may be your age or only a few years younger?

If you were to get married and have children, people would likely assume that they're his grandchildren and that you're his daughter. Have you thought about the vast differences in life experience between 21 and 44? He probably remembers the cold war, new wave music, and a lot of other things that you kinda had to be there for to fully understand. Likewise you probably have interests and hobbies that a man in his 40's doesn't really understand or relate to.

I'm not saying that any of these things are deal breakers, or that they should be. They're just things worth thinking about before pursuing anything. Also keep in mind that some men have an eye for younger women, and it's often not for the best reasons. The attention that he's showing you, and not to his wife, may be something that he carries into the relationship that he might have with you More or less, it may be wonderful for the first few years, but he may be looking to trade you in for a younger model when you begin to age.

On top of that men of a certain age, tend to have different ideas about how to treat women, not always, but sometimes it may be a problem if you would prefer to maintain your Independence. Just trying to say that it's worth remembering that he grew up in different times where it was ok to treat women in a way that it usually isn't nowadays. If I remember correctly, I think the largest age gap that I've dealt with in a relationship was only 6 or 7 years.

Even with that gap we had a hard time talking about things like music, movies, and politics. I constantly had to remind myself that, well, of course she doesn't remember that, she was in elementary school when that song was popular or when that movie came out, or when that guy was president. I know it sounds like a small thing, but it does have an impact on a relationship.

With a 23 year gap, he'll have to remind himself that you hadn't even been born yet. You have an extramarital affair Eventually it will end. Married men don't leave their wives. The best possible outcome is that it all stays private, and you don't and up pregnant and you don't end up with an STD you think you're the only one? He leaves his wife and marries or lives with you Are you ready to be the second wife?

The evil step-mom who is the proximate cause of the parents' divorce? The embarrassment that comes between this man and your father? He leaves his wife and then doesn't marry you Everything in 2 except that you don't have to see his kids who hate you every other weekend. He leaves his wife and then you don't want to marry him Everything in 3 with the addition of being generally despised in the community as a literal home wrecker. This would take years to die down. He is old enough to know that his subtle flirting is wrong and bad, but he's thinking with his mid-life crisis little head.

Yes, he has stirred an infatuation in you. You must deliberately kill it. Do not go where he will be. If you find yourself in the same place with him, do not not make eye contact. If he makes it, look away. Do not talk to him. Do not brush hands with him. Do not go near him. When you begin avoiding him he will seek you out.

Do not be alone with him.

When he asks what is wrong, you will not be able to give him a direct answer because he has made nothing explicit. That's part of the deniability game. So be correspondingly vague bad mood, headache, Eventually he will get the message. Expect him to become slightly angry and aloof. Do not let it make you feel guilty. He is the one at fault. To approach a married man you would have to find an excuse to be alone with him. You might have to do this several times since your dad might tag along. That said, this will also give you a probable answer to him being interested in you.

If he comes alone no wife, no kids he is more probably into you than not.

Also listen deeply into if and how many times does he bring her wife,kids and dad into your conversation when you talk to him. Those will be your parameters into advancing into a flirtatious chat. After that just flirt with him as usual. Clearly you are into him. If you truly want only a short term sex relationship you will have to understand your place in the relationship. And this means that by no means you will be above his family or his relationship with your dad as a friend. Same rules apply to him. If you can cope with all of the above at your age and understand the consequences of being found out or an accidental pregnancy, then yes, such a relationship could exists.


But i must really stress out that both must play under those rules to minimize any problem that might arise and cause unhappiness to either side and to be ready to end that relationship at any moment. If you want a long term relationship then the answer is No. Too many problems starting from age gap, cheating, awkwardness with your family and probably damaging your relationship with them. You are too young to deal with a family building relationship with a guy with that background.

At your age, probability states that you will find a less troublesome prospect for a boyfriend. If he's Married then you would be a homewrecker, If Vic wanted a relationship Vic needs to decide his present relationship. And then there is your father, they are friends, don't mess up their friendship for lust.

The Butterfly effect can come back to make you regret what you may not be wise about now. If Vic is married then Vic is not on the market, find somebody you probably was destine to find. Lust never turns out the way you planned. You're strong, intelligent and mature as anyone, if not more. Now, my answer to your question would be: What kind of friend is that. And with him wanting you to hide this from your dad, that is not cool. This guy is awful. Stay far away from him. No offense but he sounds really pervy. He's like twice your age you said that he is 15 years older and you are 16 so that makes him 31ish and you are NOT LEGAL age depending on the state of residence of course.

And If he wants to keep it secret from your dad then something shady is going down. If he had good intention he would speak up. Don't do it, save the text messages, therefore if you fee like telling your dad then you have something to show him or if something happens heaven forbid you have proof. God please don't do it. It will be messy and nothing good comes out of any "secret relationship.

Ok, so what do you like about him? What do you have in common with him? What is it about him that cause you to neglect the fact that he is15 years older than you? Honestly there is nothing wrong with a little age gap but you being so young and him being so old and secretive. Ok and no guy your age that you can think of also makes you smile and is nice to you? You can't think of anything you two have in common? A relationship is unbearable if you don't have something that you enjoy doing together. I bet whatever you drive I can find 5 more like it in less than an hour, but that doesn't mean you should try to date the owner just because you have the same car model.

Or, I am into cars too so I can send you websites where you can just flip through different car types. I connected with my friend's boyfriend over that but other than that we had nothing in common.

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In fact, I think that situation is more likely in this case. You seriously need some consideration for other people feelings and boundaries because if you will not stop that your dad may go NC. They said it wouldn't matter who hes dating then. That's the same fucking advice we give to all posters in this sub. Just let him know you see him more as a fatherly figure, considering you are young he should understand and if he doesn't back off you HAVE to let your dad know. If you have a question for me about love, marriage, parenting, sex, friendship, peaches, The Great British Bake Off, end of summer reading recommendations, how to beat the heat, or anything at all, email me at rarelywrongerin gmail. If I remember correctly, I think the largest age gap that I've dealt with in a relationship was only 6 or 7 years.

We didn't like the same music, books, activities, or drinks. You and him are at two different stations in life. He should be working, probably had many different types of relationships, he's 31 so I highly doubt that he is going to willing date you without wanting a sexual relationship in less then a couple of months. You are still in high school, you might be thinking about going to college, and have your own dreams for your life. He has already been through that stage.