It is very kind of you to look for the best in this situation. Topics Life and style Swipe right - online dating for the real world. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded.
Trust is very hard and someone should give you reasons to trust! I agree with you Moops. I had been dating this guy I met online for 4 months. I told him I was taking down my match account. He said he would also. Not only did he not do that, he joined pof and meet me! I decided to still give him the benefit of the doubt.
Yes he really said that! I said he was the one who was searching.
Girls, stop the madness! I was honest with myself and realized I was only with him because I was lonely, and it is so hard to meet someone nice, but I was doing myself a disservice. Still trying to find the one…. This very thing happened to me. Wasted an entire year on this man. Gave him the benefit of the doubt in the name of trust and it was a bad decision. Now I not only wasted a year but have spent six months trying to recover emotionally and am going back into the dating scene with less trust. If he is logging in…… he is looking or communicating and the bottom line is… you will never be able to trust him completely because this will always be in the back of your mind.
A truly excellent reply. This article seems to expose a type of man that is rotten to the core and is capable of using women without any conscience. The whole interaction left me feeling sick to my stomach. I completely agree that if someone is still checking dating sites after committing to someone then they are leaving options open,stroking their ego,or seeing you as for now person Its disrespectful and breaks trust not builds it.
I met someone in my home area on an online dating site. We have gone out 3 times in two weeks, and have several dates already arranged for the coming week. We are both divorced and he has a child almost every weekend, so we typically do not see each other from Friday to Monday night. I took my profile off the site because I believe it leads to hurt feelings and in my little mind, why make him not trust me. What I did was set up a bogus account and I can see he is on the site each day, even after we have gone out. He is on and off the site daily. There are times I have been on the phone with him or in the midst of sending a text back and forth when he is on the site.
I really want to find out why men do this? If they meet someone and apparently things are going well, so what is up with men who need to see or chat with other women? It was after telling him this that he asked me if I can go out with him on several days for the coming week. So what is up with men you meet online and how they still log in and show chat venue open.
I have been going through a similar situation and would really appreciate the feedback on here. Im 24 yrs old and im very attractive and have never been in a real relationship and crave that part of my life with someone special.
Now that online dating is a normal way to meet people, new issues If you discover that the guy you're with still has his profile live and that. There are 5 plausible reasons why the guy you're dating still has an active online dating profile. 1. He's just looking for casual flings or.
I have been on the online dating scene for 3 yrs and have been on sooooooo many dates and havent found anyone who I am remotely interested in until 3 and a half months ago. When it comes to me and dating I think I have the worst luck and i cant even get past the 3rd date with someone so I am always walking on pins and needles each time. But here is my situation:.
Match and eHarmony screen pretty well, and if a guy has an active profile on a site like one of those, it usually and I would say Meet millionaire men at MillionaireMatch. And sometimes, that means… comments closed. At some point they are going to get back on. Ella A truly excellent reply. I have been on the online dating scene for 3 yrs and have been on sooooooo many dates and havent found anyone who I am remotely interested in until 3 and a half months ago.
He first told me that he wasnt looking for anything super super serious and i said well lets take it slow and see where it leads to. He was always treating me like i was his gf and i met one of his close friends and he took me and my sis and his friend out for dinner. I never had any guy treat me like that. This guy always mentions me to his neighbors and friends but we dont have a label on it.
He also talks about personal stuff with him and his whole family and i really thought we were connecting. I also attempted to lose my virginity to him. I never told him i was a virgin the whole time and then it just came out and he was at first mad but then he understood where i was coming from and i kept asking him if he was ok with me not being experienced and he said he was. But always in the back of my mind it has been bothering me that i am inexperienced because he has been around the block and would leave me for someone who is great in the bedroom.
I am alsooo very very shy around him because i like him sooo much and i feel sooo out of place even when doing stuff in the bedroom. I just cant seem to snap out of being scared and shy when im with him. Recently i just went on match and saw he was active within 24 hrs and im like wtfff.
I feel sooo played but i dont wanna jump to conclusions and he hasnt contacted me in 2 days and im feeling like he wants to find someone who is way more experienced than i am. But the thing is we really connected and I dont think anyone can come close. Its sooo strange cause we started hanging out together times a week recently and he just cant stop staring at me at every moment wen im with him. Im sooo scared to lose this guy and dont know what to think right now. All my friends that I ask think he is playing me and i dont know if i should even listen to anyone because everyone can have their different reasons.
Im really falling for this guy and I never ever pressure him on anything cause i know men dont like to be pressured so i kind of take each day as it comes. Yes, suspicion can destroy a relationship if it is unfounded. But sometimes suspicion is justified. Hana, this guy is looking around while enjoying you and wonderful qualities. Match and eHarmony screen pretty well, and if a guy has an active profile on a site like one of those, it usually and I would say A girlfriend or boyfriend can usually tell it the profile is real in any number of ways — if the profile has exact details about height and weight, the writing style that was used, etc…..
This girl is just going to get hurt. She should leave the guy ASAP. The majority of these guys that get on these dating sites especially Match never get off. Many of them are not serious and they are addicted to Match and other dating sites. I realized after 4 months of being on Match that this was not the venue to use to meet someone if you are interested in a serious long-term relationship.
At some point they are going to get back on. Women would be better off meeting a guy in a traditional setting through work, a friend, museum, whatever. Syndrome … Newness- Grass is Greener Syndrome. An addiction to online dating, even if you have a significant other.. Sorry, but I disagree. Before becoming intimate, demand exclusivity, which also means get off of all dating sites — and let him know that you will check periodically to make sure he does.
Sorry, but he HAS given this girl a reason to distrust him. This same thing happened to me — met a guy on eHarmony. Within a month we felt pretty serious about each other and I asked him if we could agree to be exclusive, including unsubscribing to any dating sites. But 4 months later, I found out he was still on eHarmony but told me he was just on there for fun, changing some information but not conversing with anyone. Two months later he was on Match. Two years later I found out he was still filling out profiles. By then, I was a mess. He had lied for two years and that is a very long time to be with someone.
Please move on, for the good of your mind and heart. This article is spot on. It was never because of her, it was simply because the suspicion kept eating away at me until I brought it up. Rather than saying anything, I simply ignore it. Thank you so much I really needed to see and hear this, and the fact that it came from a man makes it so much more official for me to do exactly as you said and the article said. When dating online it is imperative you remain open and honest.
I met a handsome guy on pof. We BOTH made a conscious decision to delete our profiles and be exclusive. I kept feeling this uneasiness about him. That is a very unsettling way to feel. My boyfriend and I have been going out for more than a year and we met on meet me. He asked me out and we were together ever since. I deleted my account and I asked him to delete him, which he said he did. However, I was feeling something was going on that I did not know about and so I checked his email which i should not have done and I saw some messages that were from meet me.
However, it was not from his real account. He had created a fake one. It still has all of his pictures. I logged on to it because he gave me his passwords to things and I figured it was the same one. He only talks to girls on there; however, there is nothing like they are meeting up or hooking up at all.
He will say hey and talk for about five minutes and then the convo is done. I stopped checking his personal accounts and email after we got in a big fight about whether he was cheating on me or not. I never felt right about checking it anyway. I thought it was great because he must have stopped after our convo. However, i checked again today if he had been on, and it said he had three days ago. I am not one to stay in relationships where i am not the main focus, but over a year?
That is so many invest feelings. I have no idea what to do. I av friends who always text me i do reply but not with love, i want to ask wat will i do to love someone, and if you can give me the match. Thanks so much, I really appreciated your comment. Eric, I feel like your post sends out a very sad message to women. You get butterflies and your heart pounds when you see me.
You and I have only been dating a short time but the potential is there. We see each other times per week. You ask for exclusivity and I give this to you. A week later you log onto to Match. So please enlighten me, what does that story look like? We live in different cities but have seen each other almost every weekend except two.
This friend since added me on facebook and so has his housemate. He was also kissing me in front of them too. We were on his laptop and I was on youtube. He went downstairs and I was just looking at songs. I managed to close the tab I was on by mistake and when I opened what I thought was the right one I found it was his dating website profile. However I knew of the website and I was able to see his profile when I got home. He still checks his profile each day but not multiple times per day. Any advice welcome thanks!
I understand what this girl is going through. Also, it can all backfire on you. I also suggest getting yourself tested. The fact of the matter is this kind of thing is a real life concern, not just for fear of being played but for your health and safety. Since we agreed to be exclusive, how do you feel about this? Relax and be willing to accept the truth whatever it may be. If you leave the question open ended he has room to answer whichever way while knowing that you were simply considering what do with yours.
If anything, it will clarify what this term means for each of you.. I am sorry to be negative here, but I dated a guy for three months that I met online…I noticed that his profile was still active and often he was checking it daily…I wanted to trust him so I did…I confronted him about it, but said that I trusted him and wanted him to take his profile down because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. I found out he was dating multiple people yes, and sleeping with all of us , all from the online dating site.
He was a world class liar. Looking back, I think if someone is active on an online dating site, while he is dating you, he is probably a player. Wow how did you find out he was sleeping with multiple people?? Ahhhh and he wants exclusivity! I have a few bad experiences in the beginning of The comment before was about a guy I met in the latter part of In the meanwhile, you might still get those email alerts when a new match has arrived.
Other times, you get hit with a case of FOMO, or fear of missing out, and you take a gander at all the men or women you could be dating instead.
But when those unique dating situations suddenly become your present reality, you still feel like a deer caught in headlights no matter how many books about polyamory or open relationships you may have read. Why mess it up with my own emotional hangups and insecurities? Katz makes a great point in one of his blog posts about this very dating dilemma online. I go there to buy. I go there to swim. But then he did a complete less than 24 hours later.