Then again, sometimes love just happens. Without rhyme, reason, logic and common sense, we often find ourselves inexplicably attracted to someone. And these feelings can be rare.
And, more importantly, genuine. So, let's say you fall for you ex's friend.
Are you really supposed to deny that? Unless you're a terrible person, you probably don't want to trample your ex's heart in the process of nurturing your new flame. Said ex probably likes people who share similar qualities mountain biking!
Said ex probably likes people who share similar qualities mountain biking! I missed our talks and our inside jokes and our sleepovers filled with laughter. The issue really lays between the friend and the ex and there are a lot of contributing factors to it. Don't date your ex's buddy and don't date your friend's ex. I ' m a strong believer that fighting over a boy is one of the worst things that girls can do to each other, but it unfortunately took a bit of firsthand experience to come to this conclusion.
The question is whether you can act on that sweet sound of "click. First and foremost, let's make sure you have good intentions.
Sometimes people date the ex's friend as a form of retaliation. It may not even be conscious.
Maybe you know you're a total catch. You're the smartest, funniest and best dressed at the office—everyone is mad crushing on you. Except, of course, that stinking jerk who dumped you.
Gee whiz, that hottie friend of your ex seems to notice. This is not—repeat, not —a good reason to pursue le friend. It's nice to ask one or two close friends to help you out.
They can keep you posted on what they see and hear about this new relationship, as it's never fun to be the last to know. Keeping your thoughts limited to this tightly knit circle will also prevent you from blabbering your opinion about the new couple to everyone. Don't overcompensate with fake happiness: You don't have to pretend to like what's happening, so don't overdo it with sappy sweet congrats and good wishes If you get caught in a confrontation, just smile, have a pre-planned friendly sentence or two to recite, keep it short and sweet, and move on.
You probably don't want to get any closer to the action than you need to, so when you're stuck in the same social scene, take the seat at the opposite end of the table, or strike up a conversation with the cute guy or girl at the other end of the bar.
Until you're comfortable with the situation, it's best to avoid confrontation -- it can only make you upset and say or do something you may regret. If you're the person dating your friend's ex, you've got a much harder job. Talk to your friend: Ideally, you know that at best this situation is uncomfortable, and it's your job to talk to your friend.
Your new partner your friend's ex should as well, but remember that they have broken up, while you and your friend are still "together. If you want to keep your friendship, the worst possible thing you can do is lie. Do you still talk to each other regularly or have you ceased all contact? This information is important, because it makes the difference between needing to tell him about your new-found interest in his best friend or not.
Another thing — how serious was the relationship with your ex , to begin with? Were you in a serious, long-term relationship which you agonizingly decided to end, or was it just a short stint during which you realized you were just not that into each other and mutually called it quits?
If things were serious, however, you need to watch out, because he will most likely be a little hurt, or at least, confused. This brings me to my next point: This question is important for a number of reasons: It helps you assess whether or not you would be compatible — were you friendly? Did you have stuff in common? Did you get along well?