That alone will build experience and provide you with tons of opportunities. Results will come from that. Best of luck and keep me posted! Love the post as always. Pursuing women who are bad for you and rejecting all women to avoid the risks are both insecure behaviors. Respect yourself enough to walk away, and respect yourself enough to take risks and be persistent. What a brilliant response Howie. I may have to edit in some additional points for clarity.
I will take whatever I can get whether or not they are right for me. A LOT of guys are like this. Just got to be more self-aware, understand your standards, and remind yourself to hold true to them. This is so timely for me. My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago, and then asked to get back together. Thankfully I have met another woman who is actually doing all those things that shows me she values me highly. I believe I know what the right decision is for me now.
Thanks — I appreciate it. Once you accept that you deserve better, everything gets better. Really a must for self improvement! Thanks for writing such a good post. I try to educate people on fulfilling themselves in a healthy, compassionate way. This was an important read to me because in the last few months or so I had been trying to get with a girl who claimed she was into me and looking to break it off with her bad boyfriend.
Everytime she went to do it however, she wouldnt break it off and I just accepted that situation and kept pursuing it. It came to a point where it seemed like I made her so angry from another situation that she said we were no longer friends, and that was the first time in a year and a half I felt good about myself because its what I was secretly hoping would happen. I still feel like I failed myself and was too weak to just walk away but your article has given me some great perspective to start applying to my life.
What happens if your rational mind knows all this already, but you still cant get her out of your head. I left my gf and have been on my own for little over a month. I felt confident, i was happy. I still had a crush on this girl who i had been hanging out with more and more but i never made a move cause i was working on me time.
Then someone swooped in and got her. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. Do I believe in true love? Yes, I do and it never arrives with signage, or resounding music. I met my wife through a friend of a friend bowling. Ups and downs come with the territory. Put yourself Out there, and not in a needy way. Confidence means a lot. Even though I am one.
Do I know Right where your coming from. I met this girl on POF and took her out one time. She did tell me I could be Her Friend if I wanted too. I care way to much about her to ever be her True friend and If I did I would be always looking to move it father and forward.
Dated this girl back in February and have not been able to let her go since.
I think about her all the time and wonder how I can get her. I feel like we were destined to be together. I guess you would say I am obsessed with this girl. I had a similar situation happen to me.
I dated a girl for 6 weeks. It is human nature to want what we cannot have. But those feelings will keep you from meeting people that want to be with you. Sure, this may happen to you again, but that is the way of love and you will be a stronger person once you get over it. I have never thought about it like this and having read this I think I now have a better understanding of where I am and how I can move forward.
Incrediable, absolutely love it. Thank you so much for helping me get through a unbeleivably tough time. I felt very good! I can tell right now that this will not only increase my standing with women, but make me attractive to men too as in more people would want to build professional and personal connections with me. This is surprisingly well applicable to business relationships as well. Letting go of customers can be very painful because it causes real financial stress. Hi Nick, this is one of many of brilliant posts of yours that has really helped me put my current relationship in perspective.
Thank you Nick for your enlightening insights.. Wayne Same for me been seeing this lady almost two years.
Spent a lot of time with her. She is drop dead gorgeous. Have done so much for her. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Walk away never look back Find someone who will want you in there bed…. Look in her eyes and tell her you have enough friends and walk away No Contact. Show her your a man not a boy toy…. Thank you so much Nick! The only time she actually talks to me is through texts. Very difficult period but your material helps greatly. This would help me a lot. To give chances or to let go of the feelings, take pride and walk away.
I just realized that you replied to my comment. I had been under the impression that it was Nick who replied. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to reply.
Any advise for women? I told him that we could try and get to know each other after his deadline. I really like him, and I would like to get to know him, but I hate the tought of chasing him. Btw…he broke up with his gf of 3yrs almost a year ago and she still texts him wanting to get back together. He told me a few days ago that she was interviewing for a position in the company that we work for. Keep up the great work. Nick, To get really good in this area of life which is the best way to develop an abundance mentality how many women do you recommend guys approach per week?
Wow that is literally wat I was doing. The way you described the needy, desperate way of thinking I realized it. Then reading on, it all started to make sense. Thx a lot this just what I needed to know. What you have written is very articulate. It is essential reading for guys who find themselves in the needy and clingy zone of a relationship.
I asked my friend to come along so that I can introduce him to the object of my affection who was also going to be there at the wedding. When I introduced him to her, she was barely forthcoming, was talking in monosyllables and did not even have the decency to respond to questions he was asking her. This is a tell tale sign that your relationship is not going anywhere and it is time to walk away.
Awesome post…and exactly what I yes a girl needed to read but with regards to wasting time on the wrong guy! Wow what a post. But we were very good friends at work and texted often after work. She then stopped initiating contact which made me started to chase her. I later found that chasing women guarantees rejection.
I asked her out after settling in USA and she also rejected me.
But we were very good friends at work and texted often after work. So no matter what always be ready to walk away from a woman. I am no dating coach and I am here myself to benefit from the insight of Nick, but I do have common sense and its easier always for all of us to see the situation of others than that of our own. John Doe on July 20, It is human nature to want what we cannot have.
It affected my studies and I became like toy to her. She walked all over me, disrespected me, used me and even cursed at me and I still kept chasing her. I never knew that a woman will never love you if she disrespects you. I later found out that the strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it!!! Also women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Interestingly she started chasing me again. Whenever she contacted me, i ended the conversation after 3 texts. If she contacted me after 8pm, i replied the following day.
I guess she thought Ive had a new girl. I walked away from her, and i even left the job without her notice. She also stopped contacting me and we lost touch for about 5months. We then met again somewhere and omg this chick i walked away from wanted me badly. I could read on her face. She laughed at everything i said, she was appealing to me to take her back but I saw her as history. I remember her asking me to come to her house which i turned down. I now have many girls phone numbers on my phone that I sometimes forget to call them.
It all came under one rule- respect yourself, be nice to women but walk away if a woman disrespects you. Man thank you for this. I feel like I should just say screw the friendship sometimes and after reading what you put I like it.
But should I just be straight forward with her? I would like to know what you think? Please respond when you can. You are so right. Just recently I broke up with a lady I extremely loved. She had really hurt me for so long and still hang around. I decided to be give myself time to think things through after the break up. And I was so shocked to see how foolish I was in the 3 yrs of my rship with her.
I now its 4 weeks, after the parting, and I am reading what you have written and I can totally agree with u. I used to think I will never meet better women buh now with the abudance attitude things are pretty smooth right now.. So for guys who think that they cant live without that lady whose is not giving you worthiness u deserve, be smart and explore this beautiful world of great female personalities and am sure u will feel like ur THE MAN. I was seeing this girl for about 3 months and got to the point where she slept over everyday. So I started cutting back on talking to her and she pursued a little.
We hung out a few times without sex and eventually I had enough and ignored her for a week or so and she kept texting me and eventually I replied and she came over and we had sex, had sex a few more times. She went away for a few weeks and told me she missed me, I told her I missed her too but when she came back home she did not answer her phone for at least 2 weeks. I discovered she has not had her phone, by then I already told her I wanted it to be over and she told me she didnt get me because I was fine without her and all of the sudden it is an issue?
A week later she texted me asking what I was up to, figured she wanted to hangout so I asked her to hangout and of course she got lazy and didnt feel like moving. I finally had enough and told her Im completely done and moving on but I honestly feel like I love this girl and i dont know if its mutual, been about a week now without talking, almost a month without seeing each other since she has been back.
I am very tempted to message her back but I really felt disrespected about everything. Next time I see her I really dont know what to say or do. Should I just wait to see if she does anything or will bring it up? I really want this girl but I am done chasing. I have been very supportive to a work colleague during and after her break up from an abusive boyfriend. I then developed feelings for her and tried to distance myself. I said we could be friends but I needed some time to get use to the idea. And she should also know that you are totally capable of doing this. No woman is worth hurting and especially not ruining your quality of life.
You only have so much time on this earth. Every moment of it should be spent in a productive way.
Always be ready to walk away from any woman and next her. Remember no woman is worth your annoyance. But no matter what always be willing to walk away. Also new women come to maturity every single last day of the year. There are more quality women then any man could ever use. Women are not a scarce or a rare commodity, not even the good looking feminine ones much less the average ones.
Walk away from someone who doesn't know what he/she wants, Dating and relationships are hard but we make them harder when we go. should you keep trying, and when should you walk away? The point is—and this holds true for everything dating-related—a maybe is a no.
So no matter what always be ready to walk away from a woman. Nothing is worth your pride or honor. Have pride in yourself and be a man. No matter what this rule applies. If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge at gmail dot com.