Make sure that you are able to maintain your independence and don't let him control you. This is another issue that older men may have: Since they are used to doing things their way, they may struggle with having to give up some of their decision-making to you. A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, and some older men may not be willing to give that to you. Instead, they just see you as a prize or an object.
Make it clear from the beginning that you will not tolerate that type of treatment. Another potential issue is the generation gap that exists between you and an older man. Having a large age gap of ten years or more could make it difficult to connect over shared cultural values, but don't let that discourage you! There are plenty of great older guys out there. By the age of 30 and above, people often have their own jobs and have been able to organize their lives somehow.
Dating someone who is self-sufficient and independent is way more practical than dating an year-old who is still in school. Although a year-old guy dating an year-old girl is not violating any laws, I don't believe it is practical, and most importantly, I don't think it is healthy. The guy should know that the girl is not mature enough to really think of the repercussions of being in a relationship with a man old enough to be her grandfather.
There will be a lot of issues concerning the age difference, like mental capabilities and behavioral differences. This huge age gap in a relationship is really difficult to handle and does not work out very well most of the time. I don't think it is very healthy to invest in such a relationship.
I am a sixteen-year-old girl, I got my period at ten and matured real quick. Is it normal that I haven't liked anybody under the age of thirty-five since I was about twelve? I have always imagined myself to live with someone much older; someone who can make me feel safe at night and happy in the morning. Both parents neglected me as a child when my sister was born; I have suspicions that it is just daddy issues.
Yes, it could be daddy issues indeed. It is normal for a girl to have a crush on boys that are a little bit older but older than thirty-five? No, that is not normal. I remember I had a crush on a boy two years older than myself when I was in Elementary. I had my period at 9, and I also matured real quick, but I still had a crush on boys that are close to my age. I only started liking older people like my professors when I was in college. But that was because I found most men my age to be boring and uninteresting.
We are from different cultures, and I don't think it is weird if you only like someone. But if you are dating, I think that is a different story. If it is just a crush, then it is totally okay, but older men aren't supposed to date girls younger than eighteen. So dating when you are only fifteen is really too young.
To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. I agree with most of what has been said in the article.
They do not go out and party as often as younger men. I love her very much. I am dating with a 32 year female, happy with her, but several of her females friends are asking questions if I wanted more children from them. I am conflicted because of the great difference in our ages. This type of behavior is apparent right from the beginning so use some caution when you're first getting to know an older guy.
I am 25 and in a relationship with a 37 year old man. I find him to be suitable for me because he is more serious and committed than most younger guys. He is so much more interesting than guys my age because I can talk to him about a variety of topics, not just sports, video games or technology. I think as long as both parties are satisfied, age should not matter. Hi, I'm 46 and going out with a 64 year old, I don't think anything is wrong with that. Sarah, of 9 months ago seems to have a problem about older men. I am not sabotaging my life, I have had many relationships in the past and I have my own business as so does my older boyfriend.
I think it is the choice of the couple and whether they are happy, thats important. I lost my wife a few months ago and am just now trying to get back into life.
I recently met a young woman that I find very attractive. I am 77 years old and interested in a 30 something woman. I am conflicted because of the great difference in our ages. I am still pretty fit and find her very interesting. We have danced together and she seems to have fun. I feel that I need to get to know her better before I ask her for a date but though I want to see her socially, part of me says that I shouldn't because I feel that she deserves a much younger man.
I would appreciate comments to help me resolve my issue. He also wants to have a family. One thing that is difficult though is interacting with his friends, though they are very kind and respectful. I have been attracted to older men a few times over the years but I avoided it. I am in my 30s now and recently met someone. Single, older, handsome but still unusual features, different race, other side of the world. I don't know if anything will happen or if we will just be friends.
I don't know what to tell my mother about him. I just know sometimes he is the only person I want to talk to or see. I worry about the age gap and what people will think. But I am also the kind of person to say "to hell with what people think". I agree with the author. I am not a party girl and I do find a lot of men in my age group immature. Also most older men are more romantic, attentive and encouraging. I can only speak about me. But I'm a 56 year old male and my fiancee turning 38 soon. I lost my 1st wife last year due to a terrible surgery with having A Fib and the anesthesia she was not able to recovery medical examiner has her case as pending almost a year.
My fiancee went thru a horrible car accident spent 8 months in the hospital recovering while her ex spent all their life savings on gambling. Strangest place we met was thru online she was an administrator for a group she created. Just a simple chat met for lunch quickly we feel in love. A year later we got engaged. Not plans getting married yet. But we love each other. I don't think age enters an equation. Because love conquers all. And while I head over heels about her. I think she is incredible, amazing not to mention very beautiful she loves how I'm very positive.
We been thru alot. But I would do anything for her. Always want to take good care of her. And she knows it.
Never thought be in a relationship like this. My 1st wive was older than me by 4 years so it's not the age but it's how we feel about one another. This new relationship I'm very happy so is she. I love her very much. And I tell her everyday and every chance I have. But she is truly amazing. I would advise to at least take your time. In general anyone over the age of thirty that rushes things gets the side eye. I am dating with a 32 year female, happy with her, but several of her females friends are asking questions if I wanted more children from them.
However, my girl friend has not asked about the question. I do not rock the boat. Im dating a man 25 years my senior at this point. The most difficult thing we are dealing with is the opinions of my mother, she doesnt approve at all and judges because he was married twice. Love is not about Age or Distance, Its about a man giving his loyalty to his woman and his woman being loyal to her man. Sarah, thanks for your opinion.. I noticed a couple of personal comments that might have reflected your experience which is okay but it sounds like you're still holding a lot of anger and that anger is going to limit you in your decisions.
I as a man apologize for whatever show called man has hurt you or changed your views I am 51 and my fiance is 31 we just read the article together and we totally agree. This isn't me influencing her this isn't me telling her what to do We read this together we talked about each section and came to a unanimous decision that this article is true and correct.
Well at least it applies to our life and our opinions in general. To the author of this article Thank you we appreciated this article very much we thank you for your Insight in your experiences, this is something that we both enjoyed and it has opened our eyes in more ways Good luck and thank you very much.
This article is geared so men can exploit girls and the reasons are 75 percent not true about older men, as you cannot change a person character. You women are only going to find yourselves alone one day as you are going to get past thirty very soon! Then what are you going to do? Do you really fashion your ignorance on thinking because you are so much younger that he will stay with you and not leave you for someone younger too?
Women need to turn the tables because if you do not you will pave the way for your female children, sisters, etc. Do not tell me that you are not attracted the individual who can just really love you. No it is because you want him to financially support you or want a father figure. Keep it up and you will sabotage your happiness. Women you will get old and it will happen fast, or he has already abused his wife and tells you it is all her fault, do not believe that.
I am a very young beautiful 50 year old woman, and it is very sick of a man who is insecure and if it was his daughter he would get very angry. If you do not stand your ground now you will ruin all opportunities a woman deserves. I am not in any serious relationship at the moment, but I do casually date. I see mostly older men, the oldest being 26years my senior. I have always found older men attractive. And now that I'm casually dating older men ive realised many things about myself and the misconceptions of sex that I was always given as a teen.
My casual lover who is 53, is one of the most caring and gentle men I have ever met. He listens and he enjoys a good mature conversation. And he is also very sensual and playful too, his mannerisms and way of speaking very erotic and interesting. Physically fit and fairly classy, he is so good in the bedroom too, if not the best I've ever been with. It is a pleasure to send time with him eating good food and conversation, while mixing in some sensual banter and flirting. This is my experience, a I totally relate to this article. Helped with understanding why people make hurtful comments, age is no barrier as I see it, it just hard when you work in the same company and people watching all the time and dealing with his previous baggage can be difficult at times and the feeling that you are being used for his own gain.
Hmmmmm even before the age of technology, men are already seen as providers for the family. Most of successful societies today at some point had a patriarchal system and even now a lot of societies are still using this system. You cannot blame a woman who wants to ensure a good future for her children by choosing a man who is very much capable of providing for the family.
For me, men who treat women as sex objects and nothing more is worse than a woman who treat men as "vehicles for procreation and financial resources". So to speak Zaratustra was right: I am well traveled And yes I am and have always been Romantic young at heart but nobody s. But who is intelligent and fantastic company mature and wise with a good true heart and would not play about with other men.
Jennifer, This is a wonderful and well-written hub. I agree with the reasons you have stated why young women prefer older men. In my youth, I was very much attracted to older men, mainly because I felt men closer to my age bracket were quite immature. However, now at my age??? I'm afraid any men much older than I How sad is that? I'm now zeroing in on the cuties younger than myself! Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
They are better at pleasing women. They are looking for more serious relationships. They have a more sophisticated taste. They are great cooks. They live a healthier lifestyle. They do not go out and party as often as younger men. Psychological and biological reasons. May—December Romance There are many women out there who seek out and build relationships with older men, so much so that there is a term for it in the western world, the May—December romance.
More Experienced and Cultured Men are like wine: Older Men May Be Better in Terms of Pleasing and Treating Women In my opinion, older men have had their fair share of both short-lived and more stable relationships, and this gives them a bit of an advantage when it comes to handling relationships. Older Men Generally Look for a Serious Relationship Men mature much later than women, and normally middle age in men is the age of maturity.
Older Men Have More Sophisticated Tastes When it comes to the finer things in life like wine, food, beer, traveling, and clothes, older men tend to choose the better quality ones. Older Men Generally Live a Healthy Lifestyle They love to drink wine and beer and yes some of them smoke as well, but they know their limitations. Psychological and Biological Reasons There are a few psychological and biological reasons why women are attracted to older men, particularly women on the younger side who are still in their 20s or early 30s.
Younger women have more stamina and older men like that. For someone who is insecure and has not achieved much in their life, dating younger women is a sort of validation. They are admired and deemed as worthy of unconditional love, whereas a woman of the same age would seek success and stability that may mar the sense of accomplishment in men. Sadly, society has a fixed standard of beauty which rejects the natural elan of old age. Younger women have fitter bodies which attract older men. They are also open to various experiments which do not seem to excite older women.
This broader mindset and receptive nature is what old men look for. This is the harsh reality: The young women have a lot of other options and can afford to move on quickly. They may not be looking for long-term relationships and this excites older men. These men do not wish to bear the burden of responsibility, which is why they date young women. The forbidden fruit always tastes better.
These relationships are often not public because the people involved have contrasting social circles. The secrecy is a huge advantage for older men who want to conceal their behavior. Younger women are open to experiments and their body permits it. This is an ideal situation for older men who want to fulfill their dark fantasies which the older women would not do. The possibility of having their kinky desires turn into reality thrills the older men.
Young women are satisfied with little things that may be insignificant for older women. Men who wish to escape the web of responsibility will choose younger women. They are less work and easier to deal with. This is one of the primary factors. Younger women will explore career options and have less time.
Emotional attachment to men may not be their priority. This carefree situation is suitable for both the parties and is perfect for a short fling. The older man is more experienced and asserts his presence.