One major difficulty in loving someone with abandonment issues is that many of them have been damaged repeatedly by the same type of people, over and over again. The owner behaves kindly to the dog for a little while, then kicks it, causing it pain… but then is kind again for a little while. Until they kick it again, and the pattern repeats itself.
Then the dog is adopted by another caregiver… who is kind to the dog for a little while, until they decide to kick it as well. After a few rounds with a few different people, that dog will have learned the lesson that any small kindness will inevitably be followed by a painful kick. They would love nothing more than to just fall into your arms with complete trust in the fact that you are who you seem to be and they can be perfectly happy and safe in a relationship with you, but their own experiences have taught them otherwise, time and time again.
Low self esteem Whether your date is clingy or emotionally distant, at the heart of his abandonment issues likes dismally low self-esteem. Since he has been rejected in the past, he believes that no one can ever love him again, he is not worthy of being loved.
Unfortunately this weakened sense of self worth is not only harmful for the person in question — as it may eventually lead to depression — but nips any chances of forming a loving relationship. As even as you may do your best to compliment your date, he will probably remain insecure and doubtful.
When a partner has abandonment issues, they might behave in ways If you're dating someone who repeatedly pulls away, or freaks out with. These 20 signs indicate abandonment issues, so ask yourself how many meet someone, and you go from first date to “in a relationship” in the.
Offer reassurance Reassuring your partner in small ways will go a long way in helping him cope with abandonment issues. These can be small symbolic gestures like wearing a ring given by your boyfriend on your birthday or making it a point to call him every time you leave town on work. Above all, make it a point to keep your promises — if you have said you will call, make it a point to do so.
Be sure to give lots of compliments to your partner and talk about the great future you are looking forward to share with each other. Talk to him If you feel uncomfortable always been second-guessed about your commitment or dislike the lack of bonding with your date, consider having a chat with him. While your partner speaks, listen carefully since this will give you important clues to what triggers his fears of abandonment.
Also talk about what why you need him to trust you more or be less clingy and mostly what you expect from each other and from the relationship in general. Maintain boundaries Dating someone with abandonment issues can make you feel as if you are walking on eggshells all the time. Avoid reacting to every complaint and demand of your date. Try to detach yourself from their psychological issues and maintain emotional boundaries. Avoid taking this personally when he accuses you of being late or neglecting him.
Stay calm and business like.
All the characteristics of the person who has abandonment issues are the result of inadequate physical or emotional care. At some point, people struggling with the fear of abandonment were left alone in the times when they actually needed somebody to hold their hands while they walk through the storms life sent them.
He might be the loudest person in the room, the biggest party maniac, or even the person that laughs the loudest in your circle of friends. You need to look beyond the mask to see the real person. You know, you could just leave. You could spare yourself and just leave.
Save yourself all the effort and work that is needed when entering a relationship with somebody who has abandonment issues. You could end it before it began, and go live your life. Nobody is going to hold that against you or judge you. The last thing a person with abandonment issues needs is for you to leave him right when he gets used to having you around.
The first step in helping somebody with abandonment issues is actually in recognizing the problem.
If you want to date a person that is scared of being left, you need to make him open up to you. He needs to tell you what really happened in his or her life so you can see the original roots of those fears. The second step in helping somebody with abandonment issues is making that somebody comfortable to talk openly with you.