You no longer have groups you can easily join to meet someone, an encounter in the library, or being in the same classroom. And now your tuition fueled wingman is gone.
You can still do things like that. There are plenty of opportunities to meet people after college. You can join clubs, do volunteer work , or even take a class. Just find activities that you are interested in, and if you happen to find someone there, well you know you share a common interest. There are several dating apps that work towards helping you get back out there. And the site is designed to give their members the best possible chance of finding love. There is no better tool to have in your corner.
Just look at them as an opportunity producer. This is the second scariest part. In college, there used to be some silent indicator that things were serious.
The person would always come over, or you would go to the games together, sit together in the dining hall. You would do the things you normally have to do but together. Now, this person probably has a job of their own and other activities they participate in and a different friend group.
So integrating your two worlds is going to be a bit more challenging. But once again it is doable. There are millions of people dating, and they find a way to make it work so you can too. Dating after college means you are dating in the adult world and sadly adults communicate. So put on your big kid pants and communicate.
When I first heard this, I was petrified. Whoever you date will be the person you marry or break up with. This makes you question every person you date and ultimately adds a lot of pressure. And not just internal pressure but also external pressure. When will you get married? When will you give us our first born? Well here is the thing to remember. Dating is supposed to be fun! You have all the time in the world to settle down if that is what you choose to do.
Those intrusive questions should not be your biggest worries. You should get out there and date as much as possible because you will meet some incredible people. They help you grow, regardless of the outcome. This is another taboo topic. You always want to know if you can date more than one person at a time. As often as possible. Bring whatever you can to work on, or read. Whatever you do in your downtime. Bring it to the coffee shop find you a spot and post up. Go where you can be in the middle of stuff.
Tons of attractive girls hang out in coffee shops.
Go where your market is. Just chill in your spot, mark your territory. Get all your stuff spread out and be the man. And then talk to the person nearest you. Then ask them what they are working on. It could be a girl, could be a hot chick, could be a fat chick.
Do this every day, okay? That conversation just flows from you. The girl of your dreams! It will breed confidence because you know where that conversation is going. Sit in a coffee shop.
Same thing with online dating. Call him just to talk. Forget physical attractiveness man. Attractive women are everywhere, bro. It should be fun so do whatever seems fun to you.
When you talk to a good-looking girl just talk to her like you would anybody else. Forget her looks, forget what she looks like or any of that, just be asking about her.
Be listening a lot more than talking. Have you been kayaking? Have you been to the waterpark with the rapids? Would you like to hang out sometime? When are you free on Thursday? You need to know two things when asking a girl out:. Are you free at seven? I do really want to go on dates but I rely on Tinder and OkCupid to even interact with single girls. OkCupid is a lead source. Those women are all women. You just found them at different locations. Different sources of defined leads.
Same thing with online dating. Tinder, OkCupid, Target, Coffee shop, you just gotta take the good with the bad. So all my life I struggled with the fact that I was five-seven and I started balding at age sixteen. That always bugged me. All the tall guys with great hair lines will always get the girls and I was never good enough. Not to mention I grew up in a trailer. Yeah I was dirt poor my whole life. That pretty much sealed the deal. I mean you went off and went to school and get five years of undergrad so you might have came from money maybe.
What I mean is that I could easily have found a way to make you better than me in my head because I was insecure about my height, and my hair, and my wallet. You can join a gym.
Because what really matters to women is different than what matters to men. Men are totally triggered visually. Okay you need to work on at least confidence. You need to be confident that physical attractiveness is subjective. Man chicks eat that up. So get more confident in who you are, in your game, and just know who you are.
My favorite book on attracting women with honest confidence — Models by Mark Manson. The directness aspect is in regards to stating your intentions. So if you are talking to a girl at the coffee shop and you like her so you ask her out. Are you free on Thursday? The indirect ask out is you facebook her later or something really weird like that. Are you going to ask her out? Do you like her? Congruence is when you ACT out your thoughts. Almost every guy messes this up because this is where indirectness stems from. You see a pretty girl you want to talk to. My name is XYZ.
An indirect man will make up some excuse, some lame joke, or something stupid that he think is witty. Congruent guys like a chick and talk to the chick. The follow-through of confidence and directness and that will take you to promise land. Forget physical attractiveness man. It matters but to an extent. But just like rich guys get chicks and jerks get chicks.