If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate.
And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your online dating site of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women.
I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation. Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell. They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it.
Also, obviously, Josie was an outrageously foxy person: There was only one weird thing about her, which is that I would occasionally catch her looking at me a little funny. I suspected that she had a low-key crush on me. About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct.
We ran into each other at a party. Flirting with each other was easy, taking each other's clothes off was easy, and it felt like fate — like absolute magic — and it kept feeling like absolute magic for about a month, at which point I discovered that she was kind of boring, or at least that we bored each other. In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship. Tom found out, and he never forgave me. Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up.
Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him. This conversation will not go well.
Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings. That's the truth of the situation. There's no two ways about it. It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say — that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc.
Is it your partner? Or are your friends just being sort of of ridiculous? Only you can figure that out and decide on the right move. You make comprises and sacrifices for your friends, right?
They should do the same thing for you. If you plan on staying with your partner despite your friends not liking them, you have to be OK with possibly missing group hangs.
People tend to pick up on stuff like that. Shereen is currently a junior at Florida Atlantic University, majoring in Neuroscience with a minor in Literature.
When she's not scribbling away in a notebook, you can find her obsessively playing videogames, procrastinating for her physics final or staying up till 4 AM for no reason whatsoever. Skip to main content.
You may feel slighted by what you perceive to be rude or disrespectful behavior towards you by their SO. You may disapprove of the relationship itself for some reason. You may feel left out or envious.
You might not have an SO yourself, and wish you did. You feel like your friend no longer has time for you due to the relationship. Is Dating a Friend Worth the Risk?